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I used to work in Chicago

I used to work in Chicago,

in an old department store

I used to work in Chicago,

I don’t work there anymore.

 

A woman came in for a hammer,

A hammer from the store?

A hammer she wanted, nailed she got

OOOH! I don’t work there anymore

 

I used to work in Chicago….

 

Paper she wanted, reamed she got

Ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got (be prepared to prove it)

Elevator she wanted, my shaft she got

Carpet she wanted, shagged she got

Clay pidgeons, skeet

Beef, porked

A Harley-Davidson, my chopper

Camel, humped

A fuck she wanted, fucked she got

Stamps, licked

Coffee, my cream

Fishing rod, my pole

Meat, my sausage

Nail, screwed

Jewelry, pearl necklace

Glazed doughnut, cream filled

Drapes, raped

Quick service, quickly serviced

Layer cake, laid

Jumper, jumped

Spring, boinged

T-bone, tube steak

Boa Constrictor, trouser snake

Garden hose, my hose

Gun, banged

Floppy disk, my hard drive

Metaphysical conversation she wanted, fucked she got

Velvet, felt up

Bolts, my nuts

Sailors, semen

Ham, porked

Plastic, rubbers

Pipe, hosed

Plumbing, my pipe

Canned ham, pork

Butter, spread

Seafood, crabs

Fabric, felt

Translator, cunning linguist

Kit kat, four fingers

Chicken, my cock

Screen door, back door

Coal mine, deep shafting

Scaffolding, erection

Brass bathtub, golden shower

Plumber, pipes cleaned

A hand, fisted

Lettuce, head

Front door, slammed

Fireworks, banged

Big mac, super-sized

Pringles, pop

Tile, laid

Vacuum, sucked

Dinner, ate out

Lollipop, licked

Shakesphere, dickens

Piano, my organ

Chips, lays

Racoon, beaver

Carpet, rugburn

Muscle car, my hot rod

Pickles, my cucumber

Hat, my helmet

Damp cat, wet pussy

Turkey, gobbled

Sheep, rammed

Tire, rimmed

Ford, probed

Help, my AIDS

Pizza, backdoor delivery

Horse, donkey punched

Dinosaur, mega sore ass

Application, filled out

Honorable gentlemen, my upstanding member

Cardboard, her box I got

Doughnut, her hole I got

Fajita, her taco I got

Fruit, her cherry I got

Hair drier, blow job I got

Butter, spread

Cat, her pussy I got