(sung to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" a.k.a. "Glory, Glory Hallelujah")

Jesus can’t play rugby cause his dad will fix the game,

Jesus can’t play rugby cause his dad will fix the game,

Jesus can’t play rugby cause his dad will fix the game,

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus sa-aves.

Chorus:

Free beer for all the ruggers,

Free beer for all the ruggers,

Free beer for all the ruggers,

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus sa-aves!

Jesus can’t play rugby cause his toe cleat is illegal…

Chorus, etc.

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he has illegal headgear

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he’s only got twelve friends

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he’s nailed to a cross

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he’s stuck behind a rock

Jesus can’t play rugby cause his mom’s a fucking virgin

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he’s got holes in his feet

Jesus can’t play rugby cause the jew won’t pay his dues

Jesus can’t play rugby cause the ball goes through his hands

Jesus can’t play rugby cause the goal posts give him flashbacks

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he’s got open wounds

Jesus can’t play rugby cause the mother fucker’s dead

Jesus can’t play rugby cause he can’t support a hooker

Jesus can’t play touch judge cause his arms point both ways

Jesus can’t play rugby cause its hard to play in sandals

Jesus CAN play hooker cause he’s got the natural stance

Jesus CAN play rugby cause he turns water into wine

Last verse (every kneel, make sign of the cross):

Jesus we’re only joking,

Jesus we’re only joking,

Jesus we’re only joking,

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus SA-AVES!