If I were the marrying kind, I thank the lord I’m not sir, the kind of man that I would be would be a rugby _______.  _________ sir, why’s that sir?

If I were the marrying kind, I thank the lord I’m not sir, the kind of man that I would be would be a rugby scrumhalf.  Scrumhalf sir, why’s that sir?  Because I’d put it in, and you’d put it in, we’d all put it in together, we’d be all right in the middle of the night, all putting it in together.  If I were the marrying kind…..

Prop.  Support a hooker

Tight head prop.  Fight tight

Hooker.  Swipe balls

2^nd row #1 . Sniff ass

2^nd row #2. Grab crotch

8 man. Spread cheeks

Flanker #1. Cream backs

Flanker #2. Get off first

Wing. Never get it.

Fullback. Get fucked.

Boot #1.  Come in a box

Boot #2. Get tied up

Cleat. Get screwed

Fan on a rainy day #1. Come in rubbers

Fan on a rainy day #2. Never come

Goal post #1. Stand erect

Goal post #2. Get split

Referee’s whistle. Get blown

Grounds keeper #1. Do lines

Grounds keeper #2. Trim bush

Grounds keeper #3. get my rocks off.

Fan on a sunny day #1. Come again.

Fan on a sunny day #2. Get baked

Half time orange. Get sucked

Scrum half #1. Put it in

Scrum half #2. Whip it out

Fly half . get creamed

Center #1. Find holes

Center #2. Pass out

Rugby Pitch #1. Grow weed

Rugby pitch #2. Be hard

Law book. Get violated

Rugby ball. Be bound in leather

Spectator. Get to watch