Sung to the tune of "The Candyman"
Chorus:
The S&M man, the S&M man,
the S&M man cause he mixes it with love
and makes the hurt feel good, makes the hurt feel good
Who could take a cheese grater, strap it to his arm, ram it in her cunt and make pussy parmesan?
Chorus
Who can take that same cheese grater, rub it on her tits, cut them into pieces and eat the little bits?
Who could take a glass rod, shove it in his prick, lay it on the table and smash it with a brick?
Who could take two ice picks, stick them in her ears, ride her like a harley while you pretend you’re shifting gears?
Who could take one ice pick, stick it in her ear, pretend like you’re interested while you have another beer?
Who could go to an abortion clinic, sneak around the back, climb into the dumpster and find a tasty snack?
Who could go to that same abortion clinic, fuck sneaking around the back, go in through the front and eat it out her crack?
Who could take a sander, make sure it’s black and decker, rev it up real high and sand his fucking pecker?
Who could take a pregnant lady, lay her on the bed, fuck her so hard that the fetus gives you head?
Who could take a chainsaw, cut a bitch in two, keep one half and give the other half to you?
Who can take that same chainsaw, ram it in her hole, rev that baby up and make Tuna Casserole?
Who could take a female rugger, tie her to the gate, fuck the bitch all day till she finally admits she’s straight?
Who could take a catholic priest, bend him over a pew, fuck him in the ass till he admits that he’s a Jew
Who can take grampa, pump him full of ‘ludes, drop him off at a gay bar with a bunch of horny dudes?
Who can take his organ, lube it with Vaseline, ram it inside her till you burst her fucking spleen
Who can take a dildo, boil it till its hot, cover it in oil, and burn her stinky twat?
Who wears pants with zippers, with no underwear, then pulls them up and down and rips out his pubic hair?
Who can take a razor, with no shaving cream, scrape her pussy bald, just to hear the bitch scream?
Who can take an old saw, rusty but still cuts, pull it back and forth until he rips off his own nuts?
Who can take a bottle, shovenit up your ass, hit it with a hammer, and shit out broken glass?
Who can take his scrotum, stick it with a pin, hang on a bunch of weights till it drags down to his shins?
Who can take a condom, put pepper in the ring, use it on his wife, cause she twitches when it stings?
Who can take a mallet, claim that he’s a stud, smash it on his pecker till it starts to ooze blood?
Who can take his penis, tie it in a knot, tighter and tighter till the mother fucker rots?
Who can take some sandpaper, rough like 50 grit, rub it on her pussy until she has a bleeding clit?
Who can take jumper cables, clamp one to each tit, start up the car, and electrocute the bitch?
Who can take a vagina, suck out all the year, spit it into some dough and serve bread at the rugby feast?
Who can take a puppy, grab it by the ears, fuck it up the ass until it sheds those puppy tears?
Who can take a vice clamp, clamp it on a tit, squeeze the sucker down till it pops like it’s a zit?
Who can take a homeless man, rip out one of his eyes, skull fuck the bastard while he listens to his cries?
Who can take some shackles, chain you to the walls, fill a glass with sperm by lancing both your balls?
Who can take a Coke bottle, shove it up her ass, kidney punch the bitch, until she’s shitting blood and glass?
Who would use machinery, to masturbate at work, rip off his left nut and pretend it didn’t hurt?
Who can take a baby, lay it on a bed, turn it around and fuck the soft spot in its head?
Who can take a little girl, before she’s on the rag, fuck her till she’s dead, then toss her in a bag?
Who would put a kid’s hand, in a socket on the wall, cause its nice when they jerk up against his dirty balls?
Who gives children candy, takes them round the blocks, and rips out their insides, with the ramming of his cock?
Who can take a baby, throw it on a pile, then fuck it in the ass shish-ka-bob style?
Who can take your kiddies, out to a picnic binge, put them on the fire, and watch the fucker singe?
Who can take a hammer, shove it up her twat, move it back and forth till he finds her G-spot?
Who can take that same hammer, wave it overhead, and slam it on his pecker till he wishes he were dead?
Who can take his willy, slam it in the door, slam it back and forth till he can’t pee anymore?
Who can take some fiberglass, wrap it around his pud, shove it up her ass till she’s shitting chunks of blood?
Who can take a light bulb, shove it up her ass, fuck her up the rear till she’s shitting chunks of glass?
Who can take two bricks, take on in each hand, bang them on his balls like cymbols in the band?
Who can take a hair curler, turn it up on high, stick it in her cunt and listen to it fry?
Who can take some newlyweds, sneak into their room, have sex with the bride, then sodomize the groom?
Who can take OJ, tie him to a poll, punch him in the face until he admits he killed Nicole?
Who can take a sorority girl, dress her up in lace, knock the bitch down and cum on her face?
Who can take a virgin, reassure her sex isn’t scary, tell her that he loves her, just to break the bitch’s cherry?
Who can take that same virgin, fuck her fuck her fuck her, FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCKER!
Who can take your grandma, throw her on the lawn, ride her doggystyle while grampa cheers you on?
Who can take a feminist, punch her in the face, throw that bitch in the kitchen until she learns her fucking place
Who can take some barbed wire, wrap it around his cock, put it on the table and smash it with a rock?
Who can take a grandma, waiting for the bus, lift up her dress, and give her cunnilingus?
Who can take a bicycle, rip off the seat, put your sister on it, and roll it down the street?
Who can take a dirty chick, from way down south, fuck her up the ass, then put it in her mouth?
Who can take an ugly chick, tell her that she’s fat, put her in a bag, then beat her with a bat?
Who can take a dead chick, break into her tomb, stab her in the gut, then fuck the wround?
Who can take an environmentalist, make the dude kneel, club him on the head, just like a baby seal
Who can take small children, 7 stories high, give them hits of acid, then tell them they can fly?
Who can take a retard, throw her in tub, turn on the hot water, and beat her with a club?
Who can take a Rabbi, tie him to a tree, fuck him so hard that he sees the holy trinity?
Who can take a girl scout, make a little nookie, punch her in the head and steal her fucking cookies?
